My dear Aunty,
How are you?? I doubt whether you remember me, a little girl, who was your neighbour before 25 years.. I still remember you, to be honest, I think my guilt feeling towards you will never let me forget you forever..
I have done many mistakes in my life till now..But what I did to you was a big blunder..I realized the enormity of the situation only when I grew up..
I still remember the fateful day when I visited your home after my school to play with your 2 year old daughter..Your husband came home at that time and he was shouting at you…I don’t remember what he was saying but I can never forget when he suddenly started beating you.I stopped playing and was both shocked and afraid…He started hitting you with his belt..You were crying unable to bear the pain and your daughter also started to cry..I was just standing there not knowing what to do..He didn’t stop beating you and I ran away from your house immediately..
When I told my mother regarding this, she told me that I was too young to understand this and I don’t have any rights to interfere in others’ personal life. .
I was very young at that time and didn’t understand anything..But when I grew up, I realized the blunder that I have done..I was a mere spectator to a domestic violence and I am still ashamed..I should have stopped him beating you..Will you be able to forgive me aunty for this???
Earlier I can’t understand why you were living patiently with such a husband..But when I grew up, I realized that this is the curse some of women are facing and they readily forgive their husbands for their sins and mistakes..They adjust everything for the sake of living with their husbands…
Aunty, Why didn’t you hit him back?? Then only he would have realized the pain and how wrong his activities were..
Aunty, do you know that the abuse against women haven’t reduced even now in 2017?? Yes, we women are now more educated, employed and independent when compared to earlier years..But still it happens…
Let me tell you about my friend – She is highly qualified and works in a reputed concern with a very good salary…She is sincere,honest, kind and admired in office by everyone..I met her recently and she looked very sad..When I asked her,she said that she couldn’t make her husband happy and he always blames and criticizes her activities..She told me about various incidents where her husband had verbally threatened her, made fun/insulted her in front of others and blamed her for every bad thing that happens in their life..She was depressed to the core.
I really don’t like to advise others,but I felt that I have to do so…I told her that for a happy married life, there should be mutual adjustment and not only by her..I added that her efforts in making her husband happy should be reciprocated by her husband too..I made her understand that she is going through mental abuse and it is high time that she comes out of the abuse..I asked her to speak and explain to her husband regarding her true feelings. She listened carefully and said that she will do the needful..
Aunty, I couldn’t stop you from being physically abused, but I have tried my level best to stop the mental abuse that my friend is going through..
I strongly feel that this mental or emotional abuse also affects us along with physical abuse…Main problem is that many women don’t understand that they are going through this mental abuse..It is very sad to know, isn’t it ???
We have to be strong enough to fight against both physical violence and mental,emotional abuse..It is high time that we teach our future generation how to treat others with due respect…
Note : I would like to read the book When I Hit You by Meena Kandasamy – This book is about an abusive marriage and explains about both physical violence and emotional abuse. Domestic violence is no longer that dirty little secret that we will hush up.