How to Declutter My Mind???

Meaning of the word “Declutter” as per dictionary is:

“to remove things you do not need from a place, in order to make it more pleasant and more useful”

How often do we declutter our houses?? What makes us or prompts us to keep our house clean?? Each one of us have our own views on keeping our house clean..We may be lethargic and keep on postponing this main task for many days..Finally, one fine day, we decide that enough is enough and we start decluttering..We realize that we have many unwanted and useless things and we are confused on what to do with them..At the end, we throw them away..We are now happy and proud to see a sparkling clean house..A big task completed !!!! Isn’t it???

Many of us are stressed and worried about something in our life – Magnitude of worries may differ among us, but we can’t deny the fact that we are stressed about something..We think a lot and everything is stored in our mind..We try hard to be calm, but couldn’t achieve the same many times..Now I have a question to myself and also to others who read this:

Have we ever thought of decluttering our minds???

To be honest, I haven’t thought of the same till now..Life teaches us many lessons and we learn by both good and bad experiences..Yes, life slapped me very hard and now I am forced to come out of negativeness sorrounding me..Is it possible to come out of mental pain which is caused by untrustworthy people ?? I really don’t know the answer till now but I believe I should try to declutter certain thoughts from my mind to be happy..I am not sure whether I will suceed or not, but I feel it is worth trying.

After searching more about decluttering our minds, I have following thoughts which I think will help me in succeeding in my effort..They are:

  • First,throw away: I have to throw away unwanted thoughts from my mind – I know it is not a easy task..I accept that certain pains are difficult to let go..But If I want to get mental peace, this is the first step which should be tried..I am sensitive in nature and I know I can’t forgive those people nor forget what they did to me, but I can throw them away from my mind..Throwing unwanted thoughts is the first step needed for decluttering my mind.
  • Express yourself: Writing what I feel in my journal/diary or in this blog certainly helps me a lot..It makes me to accept the fact that as my mind is cluttered, I become restless and unfocussed..I get this urge to help myself to clean my mind and try to be happy.
  • Don’t multitask: I have to concentrate on one thing at a time and shouldn’t multi task..If I am decluttering my house, I would first concentrate on one particular place which I feel is more dirty..I would complete cleaning that place first and move on to the next..Just like that, I have to pick on a specific issue which I feel is bad for my mental health and try to come out of that..After completion of that, I should move on to the next.
  • Reframe negative thoughts: Many of us primarily worry about what had happened in the past and what is going to happen in future..We can’t change the past, but having a positive approach helps to face our future with a smile..I have a bad habit of negative thinking and I feel that it is high time to stop it.
  • Be grateful: Many thoughts in our mind is usually about the things that we don’t have and we yearn for the same a lot..I feel that I have to start practicing gratitude in my life..Being grateful plays an important role in keeping our mind in peace.
  • Learn to say “NO”:  This is the most vital ingredient for our mental peace..I have to start saying “No” to certain people and shouldn’t do anything which I feel like not doing..If I practice this, then clutter in my mind will reduce to some extent.

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(Courtesy: Google images)

So, What are your thoughts on decluttering our minds???

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Book Review 6 – “Just as it Happened” – by Kadambari Singh #BlogChatterEbookCarnival

I am reviewing the following book:

“Just as it Happened” – by Ms.Kadambari Singh 

About the Book:

This is a love story which revolves around the life of two different people Meer and Meera.

About the Author:

Ms.Kadambari Singh is a management graduate, passionate marketing professional and loves to write..

My thoughts on this book:

Meer is a young IT professional and he meets Meera, a independent, sorted girl. They meet by chance and fell in love with each other. Whether they are able to get united in their life forms the rest of the story. Author had explained about their relationship and their thoughts on love in this story. I personally liked the character Meera more when compared to Meer.

Overall, I feel this story is a light read.

Mesmerizing Nainital – #TimeToRevisit…

I believe that travelling rejuvenates both our body and mind..A break from our monotonous routine life gives us strength to move on in life..I love to travel and there are some places which attract us with its beauty and makes us to wish that we have to revisit that place again and enjoy a lot..

I am now reminded of our tour to Nainital in June 2016..I  feel that it is  #TimeToRevisit Nainital again..

We were planning for a short trip for 4 days last year and started looking for hill stations outside Tamilnadu..We finally zeroed in Nainital and booked a 3 nights 4 days package with Make my trip covering both Nainital and Corbett.

This tour was special for us and we were excited because:

  • We visited North India for the first time
  • We  were first time flyers – from Chennai to New Delhi and vice versa
  • I was able to test my Hindi speaking skills..Though I understand Hindi and watch movies, I haven’t got more chances in Chennai to speak in Hindi..I was thrilled as I have to translate to my husband as he doesn’t know the language..

Day 1:

We were picked by a driver at New Delhi airport and after having breakfast at Hotel Saravana Bhavan in Delhi, we started our six hour journey to Nainital.

We were excited as we are going to cross Delhi, Noida in Uttarpradesh state and finally reach Nainital in Uttarkhand state..

After having lunch at Bikanerwala hotel at Gajraula,we travelled through national highways and finally started climbing hills..

Photos that I clicked from car while traveling:

We reached Nainital around 5’o clock in evening and we stayed in Bhavanipur Greens, a Sterling Holidays resort..We travelled for half an hour to reach this resort from Nainital..We were happy as the scenic view was awesome and our room was good and we had a nice balcony and view from it was so mesmerizing:

We bought some candles from Uttarkhand Government shop which had candles, handicrafts and organic sarees..After dinner in our resort, we went for a walk around hotel and finally slept.

Day 2:

We started our sightseeing around 9’o clock and we visited Bara Pathar – We enjoyed horse riding for around 1.5 hours up the hills and saw Tiffin top (Dorothy’s seat), Naina Peak, Suicide point,etc..

Then we went to Eco cave gardens – The place was very cool and beautiful..

We visited the famous Naina devi temple, which was very beautiful and also crowded..

We saw a nice view of Nainital lake from temple and we skipped boating as we weren’t interested..

We roamed around the famous mall road and had lunch at Chandni Chowk hotel..Then we shopped in Mall road and purchased candles and other items..We had dinner in our hotel and our day 2 of the tour got over..

Day 3:

We checked out of hotel in Nainital and started our journey to Jim Corbett National Park..

On our way, we saw a hill view point, Khurpa Taal, a lake which changes colour according to season and also a small waterfall which was beautiful..

We reached Corbett and after lunch, we hired a jeep for our 3.5 hours Jeep safari..Though we saw only deers, monkeys and no tigers, journey inside a dense forest was awesome..

We visited a 100 years old Site devi temple and finally reached CorbetTreetop Riverview, a Sterling Holidays resort which is around 20 km away from Corbett and is located in a hill..Room was nice with all facilities.. After dinner, we took rest..

Day 4:

We checked out of our hotel and started our journey to New Delhi..On the way, we visited Corbett Museum..


We reached Delhi airport and came back to Chennai finally..

I would like to revisit Nainital for its mesmerizing nature..Though it is crowded, I enjoyed a lot..We stayed in hotel away from busy Mall road and we enjoyed a lot..

Though our Vacation was a short one, I am sure it is a memorable and a special vacation for us and I would like to revisit Nainital again.

A Brave Woman’s Story…

It was an ordinary afternoon when I received a phone call from my mother..She was excited while talking and I couldn’t understand first..After calming her down, I got the following news:

 Sita aunty had got married last week at a registrar office !!!! 

My Amma said that her marriage is the recent news in my native place and everyone is surprised and shocked..

OK, Sita aunty, a distant relative of mine, is a 54 years old, divorced woman and she had married a widower around 60 years old..

I phoned her immediately and conveyed my wishes!!! She spoke with me in detail about her marriage and was worried that her own sisters hated her as she had got married at this age..I told her that it is high time that she stopped thinking about others and I asked her to enjoy her life.. 

After I disconnected the call, I was reminded of  struggles Sita aunty faced in her life..

“You get out of my house immediately..I don’t want to see your face again”

Shyam yelled at his wife Sita for ‘n’ th time and she started crying..Her mother in law as usual added fuel to fire by blaming Sita for her inability to conceive even after 5 years of marriage..Sita, as usual, kept quiet and pleaded with her husband not to send her out and requested him to forgive her (for no fault of hers)

When Sita was married in 1981,her mother adviced her that she has to adjust in her husband’s family and she has to do whatever her husband says. Sita, being the elder daughter with 2 younger sisters, couldn’t continue her studies after 12 th standard and was married to Shyam, who worked in a nationalized bank as a clerk..

Sita was quite happy in first year of her marriage..Shyam was kind earlier but after some years, started showing his true colours..He blamed her for whatever happened and started abusing her badly, both physically and emotionally..Her MIL also wasn’t happy due to small amount of dowry provided by Sita’s father.

Sita beared everything patiently and believed that her husband would change soon..She didn’t want to add burden to her father and hence she adjusted everything…

  Her husband was out of station for a week and her MIL also went to her native place..Sita was alone in her house without knowing that her life was going to change forever…

She was shocked to the core when she saw a woman who came to house along with  her husband  and MIL after a week..Her husband introduced her as his newly wedded wife..Sita was grief stricken and her husband told her that he hated her to the core..He added that she could never be a wife to him and she could only be a servant maid in his house..

Sita was angry beyond words  and she came to her father’s house after 6 years of bad marriage and she later divorced her husband..She started going for a small job and got her UG degree through distance education..She also studied Hindi language and passed all exams..She loved studying and got many degrees..She started taking Hindi tuitions and also became a teacher in a school in my native place..

Her family totally depended on her and she took care of her 2 younger sisters well and got them married…

After her divorce, there was a big change in her..She became strong and proved that she could handle all the problems with ease. 

She was living alone for several years after death of her parents and finally she had married a gentleman who loves her truly..

I feel so happy for Sita aunty…She had faced various criticisms after her divorce..She was brave enough not to listen to those and she concentrated on her life and achieved her dreams.It is true that bad situations in life makes a person to fight against all odds and emerge as a winner.

Some people commented on her marriage at this age..I told them that it is none of their business and getting married is her personal decision.I feel that age doesn’t matter, Isn’t it ???

Sita aunty had faced many difficulties in life and I sincerely pray God that she feels and stays happy in her future life.

Book review 5 – “26 Words -A to Z of short stories” – by Smita Pal Sinha #BlogChatterEbookCarnival

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I am reviewing the following book:

“26 WORDS – A to Z of Short Stories” by Ms.Smita Pal Sinha

About the Book:

This book is a collection of 26 short stories on topics of  various social issues..Each story revolves around a word which starts with a letter of the alphabet and a social issue which also begins with the same letter.

About the Author:

Ms.Smita Pal Sinha is a working mother who loves to write, cook, paint, read and do a lot many other things…

She blogs at http://www.theaveragemom.in

My thoughts on this book:

I would first like to congratulate the author for writing these stories about different social issues and also making it very much interesting to read..

I liked all the stories and it was not boring and not preachy in nature..The message about awareness on social causes are depicted very clearly along with the story line  and I feel that the writing style of the author is brilliant..

I liked the following stories in no particular order – About education, Dowry, Child abuse, domestic violence,female foeticide, gender discrimination, sexual harassment at work place, Infertility, Child labour, Maternity leave, kid’s pressure,story of a survivor,story of an orphan child, story of an unequal pay, story about Judgement, story on racial discrimination and story of unmatched zodiacs…

Overall, I personally feel that this Ebook is awesome to read and I  would also recommend the same to others as I totally enjoyed reading the same.

Will you please forgive me??? #ALetterToHer

My dear Aunty,

How are you?? I doubt whether you remember me, a little girl, who was your neighbour before 25 years.. I still remember you, to be honest, I think my guilt feeling towards you will never let me forget you forever..

I have done many mistakes in my life till now..But what I did to you was a big blunder..I realized the enormity of the situation only when I grew up..

I still remember the fateful day when I visited your home after my school to play with your 2 year old  daughter..Your husband came home at that time and he was shouting at you…I don’t remember what he was saying but I can never forget when he suddenly started beating you.I stopped playing and was both shocked and afraid…He started hitting you with his belt..You were crying unable to bear the pain and your daughter also started to cry..I was just standing there not knowing what to do..He didn’t stop beating you and I ran away from your house immediately..

When I told my mother regarding this, she told me that I was too young to understand this and I don’t have any rights to interfere in others’ personal life. .
I was very young at that time and didn’t understand anything..But when I grew up, I realized the blunder that I have done..I was a mere spectator to a domestic violence and I am still ashamed..I should have stopped him beating you..Will you be able to forgive me aunty for this???

Earlier I can’t understand why you were living patiently with such a husband..But when I grew up, I realized that this is the curse some of women are facing and they readily forgive their husbands for their sins and mistakes..They adjust everything for the sake of living with their husbands…

Aunty, Why didn’t you hit him back?? Then only he would have realized the pain and how wrong his activities were..

Aunty, do you know that the abuse against women haven’t reduced even now in 2017?? Yes, we women are now more educated, employed and independent when compared to earlier years..But still it happens…

Let me tell you about my friend – She is highly qualified and works in a reputed concern with a very good salary…She is sincere,honest, kind and admired in office by everyone..I met her recently and she looked very sad..When I asked her,she said that she couldn’t make her husband happy and he always blames and criticizes her activities..She told me about various incidents where her husband had verbally threatened her, made fun/insulted her in front of others and blamed her for every bad thing that happens in their life..She was depressed to the core.

I really don’t like to advise others,but I felt that I have to do so…I told her that for a happy married life, there should be mutual adjustment and not only by her..I added that her efforts in making her husband happy should be reciprocated by her husband too..I made her understand that she is going through mental abuse and it is high time that she comes out of the abuse..I asked her to speak and explain to her husband regarding her true feelings. She listened carefully and said that she will do the needful..

Aunty, I couldn’t stop you from being physically abused, but I have tried my level best to stop the mental abuse that my friend is going through..

 I strongly feel that this mental or emotional abuse also affects us along with physical abuse…Main problem is that many women don’t understand that they are going through this mental abuse..It is very sad to know, isn’t it ???

We have to be strong enough to fight against both physical violence and mental,emotional abuse..It is high time that we teach our future generation how to treat others with due respect…

Note : I would like to read the book When I Hit You  by Meena Kandasamy – This book  is about an abusive marriage and explains about both physical violence and emotional abuse. Domestic violence is no longer that dirty little secret that we will hush up.

Who is the real killer???

Before twenty five years:

Incident 1:

There was a maid working in our house when I was young..She wasn’t educated, had one daughter and her husband didn’t have regular income..She was hard working and managed all her family problems single handedly..She conceived for the second time ..She was telling my mother that she wanted to have a healthy baby and wasn’t concerned about whether a girl or boy baby..After some months, her husband visited our home and happily announced that they had a new baby girl and gave us sweets..

Incident 2:

My classmate’s house was near my house and we used to go to school together..Both her parents were educated..Her mother was expecting and she had told her daughter that she is going to have a younger brother.. My classmate replied that she wanted a younger sister and got scolded by her parents.. Finally she had younger sister and she told me that her parents and grandparents were worried due to birth of girl baby..

Both these incidents occurred while I was young.. I was angry on my classmate’s parents…That day I felt that education doesn’t change people’s thinking..

Situation on 2017: 

Recently I read a news which says about a mother who had killed her  newly born twin girls as she already had an elder girl..

I was shocked to the core on reading this..This mother expected a boy as she already had a girl…It is said that her husband and in-laws also expected a baby boy as everyone had girl babies in their family..Her husband hadn’t visited her after she gave birth to twins..She got worried and  was afraid that her husband would get separated from her and so she had killed those twin girls..

I couldn’t believe after reading this…I was reminded of the incidents which took place before 25 years..

Why this society haven’t changed?? Why there is still difference between girls and boys??? Are we moving backwards??? I don’t want to generalize but still couldn’t come out of this incident..

Many of us would feel that the mother is heartless and merciless..I agree hundred percent that she had committed a crime – she doesn’t know  the importance of a child – There are many  people who are trying hard for a baby and are worried that they couldn’t have even one baby..But she is said to have killed two innocent souls..

Another important question in my mind now is – Whether she alone is responsible for this crime??? Definitely not..Her husband and his family are also reason for this..If they hadn’t forced their wish about baby boy on her during her pregnancy, she might not have done this now..

I feel that the woman, her husband, family and also this society had killed those twin girls..

I am now reminded of my maid whom I mentioned in beginning of this post..She raised her daughters in a commendable way and was mentally strong even before 25 years..

Though I don’t wish to blame this mother fully, still I feel that she should have been  strong and raised those twin girls..

My heart goes out for those tiny little souls who had left this world…

I am dreaming of a society where both men and women are treated equally..It is high time  we understand that no one is superior or inferior in this society and all are equal..I don’t know whether my dream will come true or not..

So, what do you think???

Book review 4 – “A Way,Not Away” by Ramya Gundala #BlogchatterEbookCarnival

I am reviewing the following book:

A WAY, NOT AWAY” by Ms.Ramya Gundala

About the Book:

This book is a collection of twenty six short stories which explores various perspectives of distinct situations that we can instantly get connected with..As the author  was part of #ATOZChallenge, she had written separate short stories based on alphabet.

About the Author:

Ms.Ramya Gundala is a passionate writer who crafts stories currently based on her day to day life..

She blogs at https://shortfictionrg.blogspot.in/

My thoughts on this book:

I feel that these stories are based on different shades of relationships and they are full of emotions and the way it is dealt with..I liked reading these stories but my favorite ones are “Conscious Conscience”, “Extraordinary Match”, “Garnish with a lemon wedge”,”Hashtag Hopeful” and “Zebra factor”..

I loved the “Epilogue” section of this Ebook..

Overall, I feel that these stories are based on different characters’ day to day life and their relationships and it is good to read.

Book review 3 -“Life and times of a twenty something” by Reema D’souza #BlogchatterEbookCarnival

I am reviewing the following book:

“LIFE AND TIMES OF A TWENTY SOMETHING” by Ms.Reema D’souza

About the Book:

There are some stories which makes us to think how our life was before some years..There may be or may not be any similarities with a particular story and our life as such, but still it makes us to have some rewind thoughts in our mind..I feel that this book belongs to this category..

This book is about the life of Alana, an ordinary twenty something girl who has some dreams and hopes to live an extraordinary life.

About the Author:

Ms.Reema D’souza is a twenty something girl who loves writing a lot..She keeps spinning stories in her head and she doesn’t want them to remain just in her head and so she writes a lot..

She blogs at http://reemadsouza.com/

My thoughts on this book:

In this book, the author tells about life of Alana in her 20’s..Alana had completed her studies and joins her first job away from her home..She is both excited and stressed..Author explains about Alana’s feelings on her first salary ,staying away from home, getting bored on job and intrusion by relatives regarding her future life..Like many of us, Alana too loves friday a lot and she loves to enjoy during weekends..She wants to say “NO” to people which she can’t do so..She dreams to become a writer and achieves it..Finally she realizes that she is her own hero as she chose to follow her dreams..

Overall, this book is a light and good read and  I feel that persons who had crossed 20’s would be reminded of past events in their life.

Book review 2 – “The fragrance of True love” by Roma Gupta Sinha #BlogchatterEbookCarnival

Today I am going to review the following book:

 “THE FRAGRANCE OF TRUE LOVE” by Ms.Roma Gupta Sinha

About the Book:

This book is truly an enchanting tale of two hearts as mentioned in its cover..The story revolves around the love between Priyam and Meer and the author had beautifully penned their relationship with each other..

About the Author:

I feel that Ms.Roma Gupta Sinha is very good in weaving stories which touches our heart and makes us to get more involved in the same..There are many beautiful lines which I loved in this ebook…

She blogs at http://www.trulyyoursroma.com

My thoughts on this book:

I firmly believe that childhood is the most important stage in a person’s life..Whatever happens at that time, whether it is good or bad, definitely has an impact on that person’s future life..I feel that blessed are those who had happy times when they were young..

Priyam, an avid writer, is a girl who is doing her first year in a college and is generally aloof  and has no friends as she has some issues in trusting others due to her traumatic past…Meer is her classmate who is in love with her and is crazy about her..Whether Priyam is able to reciprocate his true love inspite of her past or not makes the story interesting ..The way Meer tries to break Priyam’s inhibitions is truly lovable.. The author has explained the feelings of both leading characters in a commendable manner..

Overall, I feel that this book is a good love story and interesting to read…