I always wanted to…

I feel that Childhood is a golden period in everyone’s life where we can enjoy truly..There won’t be any pressure and a child doesn’t think twice before talking..I am sure a happy childhood will always help us to tackle all the problems that we might face in future..I had some nostalgic moments when I thought of my wishes during earlier days of my life..

Whenever someone asked me, what will I do when I am grown up, my answer always was “I want to be a Journalist” …Their next question was whether I knew the meaning of Journalist..I always replied that I will write in newspapers and everybody will read it..As I was very young that time, they simply laughed as if it was a joke…

From my childhood, I  liked to read many  books and magazines..I was also good at studies and I liked Biology very much..So after my tenth standard, I chose science group and not commerce..

During my twelfth standard, I told my father that I don’t want to study engineering or medicine..He was shocked and he asked me the reason..I told him that I wish to study B.A in English literature and then Journalism..He was not happy with my choice and even after many arguments, he didn’t accept for the same..I couldn’t convince him…So  I joined B.SC  Bio Chemistry and then completed MBA also..

I then got placed in a Bank and worked for around 11 years in banking sector..My passion for reading didn’t reduce and I was always reading books whenever I travel to and fro to work..Though I enjoyed and loved my job to the core, I always felt that I was missing something..

I took a break in my career and  now i am able to read many books in my free time..I started to blog and so I have my little own space where I can write and express my views..

I still regret that I was not able to convince my Dad earlier  for studying journalism..I have not become a Journalist as I wished..But I am still feeling blessed as I have taken a very little step in writing through this blog..I have finally listened to the voice inside my heart and I am happy for it!!!

I  am quoting the lines which I love, from Robert Frost’s Poem “Stopping by woods on a snowy Evening”:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,   
And miles to go before I sleep.
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Why Me???

**This post is going to be a serious rant..Please read at your own risk**

I  have a problem in my  life ,which I  never thought that I’d have, even in my dreams…

Last week was full of emotional turmoil for me…I haven’t fully recovered from it..

I am unsure whether a decision I took earlier was right or wrong..Suddenly I am facing many twists and turns which I am trying hard to cope up with..

I asked myself  “Why me???” questions and as usual I don’t have any answers..

I usually keep my sorrows to myself and don’t share my worries even with my close family members..But last week, I had to disclose it to them, as I had no option..Now they are also very sad due to my problem..

I really don’t understand why I got a problem which doesn’t seem to have any practical solution till now..Whatever  I do to solve it, nothing works out and I am again back to same problem…

I know, I can’t do anything now apart from being patient and continue my efforts to come out of it..

My dear God, please give me strength to cope up and to find a amicable solution…

Well said Ms.Sania Mirza!!!

Journalist Mr.Rajdeep Sardesai recently interviewed Ms.Sania Mirza ..He questioned regarding her plans on settling down and motherhood..

I was so happy on the way she replied him which is given below:

“You sound disappointed that I’m not choosing motherhood over being number one in the world at this point of time. But I’ll answer your question anyway, that’s the question I face all the time as a woman, that all women have to face — the first is marriage and then it’s motherhood. Unfortunately, that’s when we’re settled, and no matter how many Wimbledons we win or number ones in the world we become, we don’t become settled. But eventually it will happen, not right now. And when it does happen I’ll be the first one to tell everybody when I plan to do that.”

Mr.Rajdeep apologized immediately  for asking that question and admitted that he would never ask this question to a male athlete…

This really made me think..Yes, what Ms.Sania Mirza said is hundred percent true!!!

This is the way that this society treats women..It is very sad to note that many men , irrespective of their education, still consider women below them and not at par…

Many women face questions first about their marriage and then about kids..

I am not against marriage or motherhood…But I strongly feel it is up to that particular girl to decide when to marry and when to become a mother..

She definitely has all rights to decide what she wants in her life..Others can’t and shouldn’t interfere in her life..

Meaning of settling down differs among individuals and need not be the same..

Why profession is still perceived to be important only for men and not to women?

Why these questions are not asked to men??

Why a girl alone should do certain compromises so that her family comes first and her profession only next???

Why as a society we pretend that nowadays women have more freedom when compared to earlier days??? I feel that my freedom should always be with me and not with you..Every time I can’t struggle to get it from you.. I am sure at the end of battle for  freedom, women  lose many and win only few…

Gender disparity begins from childhood..Even though many mothers try to raise both daughter and son equally, this society doesn’t allow them to succeed finally..

During my last day at my office, my boss appreciated my working style and said that even though I was a woman, I worked extraordinary well ..I was irritated to the core and questioned him why he said like that..He answered that many women don’t take their profession seriously like me..I told him not to perceive things and there are many women who love their jobs and not to generalize things..

I feel that answering back when we are faced with personal questions is very important..Others might think that we are rude, but  this answering back  is important so that the person who questioned us will be careful and think twice before asking the same question next time…

It is not necessary that I have to be good with everybody!!! I will respect only those who respect me and my privacy..Others should know their limits before questioning me..

Thanks for hurting me!!!

This Post is dedicated to all the persons:

Who have  hurted me in Past..

Who are hurting me now..

 & Who are going to hurt me in future….

First, I start by thanking you all from bottom of my heart, for mentally hurting me during various situations…Don’t know Why am I thanking you??

I am thanking you because all your behaviors with me are now helping me to change myself from being  very sensitive, highly emotional person to a relatively less sensitive and less emotional person…

Earlier I was hurt easily by your actions because:

  • I took things too seriously and personally…
  • My perception on that particular situation..
  • My expectations on all of you..I thought you all care for me like the same way that I do and you all proved that what I thought was wrong..

I am now trying my level best to overcome hurt by:

  • Acknowledging my hurt feelings to myself..
  • Trying to control my emotions –  Remove myself from that situation and take some time and don’t make rash conclusions..
  • Think about whether they hurt me intentionally or have I misunderstood – If it is intentional, then I try to stop dwelling & retelling the same incident..
  • Trying hard to let it go…

Earlier all of you had made me to cry, get angry, be restless, highly tensed, etc…

But now you have really made me to think  at right direction, how to keep myself away from you and not to have any feelings towards you  and finally ignore all of  you…

Thanks again for everything!!!!!

Men vs Women…

I really don’t  wish to compare men with women..But after reading the below news,I was forced to write this Post..

As per newspapers and news channels, Ramkumar, Ms.Swathi’s suspected killer, had said to Police that he  was provoked  to kill  Swathi as she insulted his looks and passed comments about his physical appearance..He further said that she also didn’t reciprocate his love..

I really wonder how foolishly and ruthlessly  he had taken this extreme step and had shattered both the girl’s and her family’s dreams..

It is not about Swathi’s case alone..Another girl had been murdered in Telungana as she denied to love the boy..There are many cases in which girls faced acid attacks also..

This made me think of what happens  generally nowadays in men and women relationship..

OK, let us start from first, when a boy first meets the girl ..In most of the cases, a boy selects a girl based on her looks, whether she is beautiful, pretty, etc…(This is what that commonly  occurs…I know there are exceptions and there are  men who really don’t care about the looks of women)

After this selection only he starts following her …Then he tries to persuade the girl to love him..Now it is the turn of the girl to judge the boy based on his appearance, status, job, etc….(There are exceptions and there are women who don’t care about physical beauty for men and select men based on their good character).. If she likes him, she reciprocates his love and If not rejects him..

Now my question is if boys can select the girl based on appearance, why the girls also shouldn’t do the same??? What is wrong in that???

In this particular murder case, Swathi might had her own expectations  about her future life and as  he didn’t fulfill the same, she might have turned down his offer..So what is wrong with her decision??How could it turn out to be a reason to kill her???

I feel that women are more patient than men when it comes to relationships..Let us consider the following scenarios:

  •  A girl first starts loving a boy and when she proposes to him, he rejects her as she didn’t meet his expectations…Now, what does a girl do normally?? She might be heart broken, angry, etc but will she kill the boy??? I doubt it..She won’t ruthlessly kill the boy..
  • Many women would have faced a situation where she is judged by her physical appearance..She would have  heard both good and bad comments about her looks in her schools, colleges, offices, etc..If somebody comments about her badly, she might scold the person, get angry, cry, etc but will she be provoked to kill the man?? Definitely not..
  • In case of arranged marriages, some women are rejected basis their looks..In many cases, after seeing the brides directly, some men out rightly reject them..She might feel  bad, but definitely not kill the man who rejected her..

So generally, women are more patient than men (there might be some exceptions)…

There are both advantages & disadvantages on being patient..I  personally feel some women are taken for granted due to their patience..

But I am also sure that some basic patience is needed for every one so that nobody is killed ruthlessly in future..

Ms.Swathi’s murder aftermath…

  • On 24 th of June, everyone was shocked on ruthless murder of Ms.Swathi in Chennai Nungambakkam Railway Station..Police was in search of the suspected killer and investigation was in full swing..
  • The suspected killer in Ms. Swathi’s  murder has been arrested yesterday late night ..Thanks to Police force for this arrest..Every one had been blaming the Police for not finding out the murderer …But now as they had nabbed the suspect, can’t we congratulate them??? Police had thrived really hard to catch the killer and there was high pressure on them from all…
  • The killer had injured himself in his neck when Police tried to catch him  and  is admitted in hospital as of now ..Motive for murder is unknown..So let’s wait and stop speculating the reasons…
  • Swathi is already killed..Please let us not kill her character again..I feel nobody has rights to judge a person without knowing full details..
  • Swathi’s parents and family are really suffering a lot..Apart from losing their daughter, they are now watched and questioned  by media where ever they go..I understand collection of sensational news is important for media..But privacy is needed for the family which is in  utmost grief now…Dear media, they are now in severe mental stress on losing their daughter, please let them at least grieve in peace..
  • I was watching some English News channels coverage on this murder..They reported as if Chennai is full of heartless people..It is true that on the day of murder, some persons in railway station, didn’t help Swathi and didn’t try to stop the murder..I am not justifying their behavior..It is a terrible mistake..But it doesn’t mean that all are bad in Chennai..Please don’t generalize people..Many such incidents happen all over India and will you report  that people in all  those cities are bad??? I am in Chennai for a decade and I feel my city is safest city in our country..Helping tendency in people  all over the country had reduced drastically and unless there is change in mindset of people, nothing will change..
  • I hope that the suspected killer will be proven guilty and Justice will prevail..
  • I pray that Swathi’s murder should be the last such incident and may her soul rest in peace..